Advice Column
Write a Dear Abby/ column advice letter from one of the following perspectives (student, teacher, administrator, parent, friend). This scenario should deal with problems or issues that adolescents face today or any topic we have covered in this course. Post your letter on this blog post.
In our next class, you will then answer someone else's letter from a different perspective.
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ReplyDeleteDear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI'm a teacher in a middle school and lately I've come to a topic that's sensitive to bring up in class. A few of my student's have been coming to school in clean, fresh clothes, but smelling of horrid B.O. (body odor) I know this is the age of puberty and a peak for their physical development, BUT how can I address this issue to students that it's time to buy some deodorant without making them feel embarrassed or uncomfortable?!
Sincerely,
The Nosey Teacher
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DeleteDear Nosey Teacher,
DeleteIf the kids stink, they're already embarrassed but don't know it. At least if you tell them privately, because you know... you're an adult, they will be able to fix their problem. If you don't think you can handle the situation, there's no shame in asking for help from a gym or health teacher. Or maybe the student is close to one teacher in particular and they'll know how to handle the student. Either find a way to delicately tell them, or buy a clothespin for your nosy nose.
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI am a 13 year old girl who loves to play online games with my friends. My mom does not always like that I go online, but she said that as long as I never give out my personal information, it is ok. Lately in one of my favorite games, “Minecraft” someone keeps going into the room that my friends and I play in and has been bullying me online. Whoever it is has been saying some really mean things to just me, but not any of my friends in the game room. I seem to be his favorite target and I don’t know why. He says things like: “Why are you even here? No one wants you here”, and “You should leave this server, you don’t have any friends”. I really didn’t like this one because it is not true at all: “You must have no friends in real life if you play this stupid game.” It stinks because I love to play with my friends, but this person is really hurting my feelings. I am afraid to tell my Mom because I think she might take away my iPad and not let me play anymore. What do I do?
Signed Stressed Out in Ireland
Dear Stressed Out in Ireland,
DeleteYou seem to enjoy the social part of playing Minecraft online with your friends. Have you considered that other players might also be hurt by the comments of this bully?
You may be underestimating your mom, but she can help you to block the person who is hurting your feelings.
Often, we don't think of our moms as our friends, but we can learn from our family members, too, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. Talk to your mom, Stressed Out in Ireland. It will help you and others who are being bullied in your online game.
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteWhy is that my friends at school never believe anything I say? The other day at soccer practice my teammate clipped my ankles. I got up during practice and kept playing but when I went home that night it was all bruised and swollen. I just didn't want to lose my starting position, and as it turns out, all I did was make my ankle worse! My mom forced me to ice it, we went to the emergency room, and now I’m on crutches. When I went to school the next day no one believed that I sprained my ankle. All of my friends are calling me a liar and they keep saying that I am faking it because I kept playing at practice. How do I get them to believe me? They clearly think I’m faking it, and soon the whole school will think I’m a liar.
Sincerely,
Sprained and Swollen
Dear Sprained and Swollen,
DeleteWow! You are one dedicated player! If your "friends" don't believe what you are saying and are spreading rumors about you faking an injury, to me, it doesn't seem like they are really your friends. I would recommend going to one of your teachers and explaining the situation to them. I also think their is at least one person in your classes that understand your hard work and dedication to the team, stick with them! And I think they will even enjoy carrying your books from class to class!
Whatever you do, don't try kicking anyone.
Sincerely,
Abby
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteMy child just turned 13 years old and is a healthy and (usually) happy child. She is now coming home from school in a very different mood than when she leaves in the morning. She has begun slamming her door, listening to rap music, and begging me to buy her new clothes. All of her old clothes fit perfectly fine, but she refuses to wear them, saying “But they aren’t what everyone else has!” She suddenly wants to join so many clubs and activities, only to tell me she wants to quit them a month later. My child has never been indecisive like this before and it was a rapid shift as she entered 7th grade. What can I do to help her and to get my happy girl back?
Sincerely,
Worried Mother Hen
Dear Worried Mother Hen,
DeleteLet your baby chick grow. Thirteen is the age where, if you can remember, we ladies experience high emotions, try to find ourselves, and think we know it all. Although mother hen's such as yourself will always see their daughter's as little girl's, it's time now to let her spread her chicken wings and let her flap them to whatever music she is interested in at the moment.
Abby
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI have a student in my 7th grade class who never has their homework or classwork done in time. I have talked to this student many times, but there is no change. I worry that the student is falling behind due to lack of help at home. I also know that this student frequently gets bullied because they don't get the newest clothes or technology. I want to reach out to the parents but don't want to come off as too pushy or rude. How do I help this student with something that's really out of my control??
Sincerely,
The Worried Teacher
Dear The Worried Teacher,
DeleteI feel that being concerned for your student is a good thing. If you feel there may be other things going on outside of the classroom that the parents are unaware of, it is necessary to bring it to their attention. When approaching the parents, try to set up a meeting where you can express your concerns in person. At this meeting, have a plan that you can implement to help the student, and ensure to the parents you are coming from a good place. Since you are meeting face-to-face, you can get a better feel as to how much help the parents want from you.
The best thing to do is to always lend a hand, because it might work out in the end!
Dear Abby...
ReplyDeleteI have reached a point where I can't take it anymore. I teach a class of 28 students and for the most part, they are all well behaved. For a group of 6th graders, they are very mature for their age. Well...MOST of them are. One boy has a "lovely" habit of randomly screaming on the top of his lungs in the middle of a lesson. I could be in the middle of a lesson the students could be taking a test and he will randomly scream and scare everyone. He has even come up behind me and screamed directly into my ear. I've tried giving him warnings, sending him to the office, given him detentions, and he has even been suspended. One time I even offered to give him a reward if he didn't scream and he said "So not worth it" before screaming at me. His classmates are annoyed by his behavior and have yelled at him to stop, but nothing works. What should I do?!?!
Sincerely,
The Teacher With a Massive Headache
Dear Teach With a Massive Headache,
DeleteHave you looked into your students home life? If he is acting out so much perhaps something is going on at home. Perhaps he is looking for the attention he receives when he screams. I would strongly suggest looking into his home life before taking any further action.
-Abby
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI’ve noticed over the last few weeks a few of my students have been showing up very late for school. They are responsible for walking to school themselves. This group of students has been showing up anywhere between 20 and 40 minutes late at least three days a week. I know that these students do not get a lot of support at home. I am at a loss as to what I should do to get these students to school on time each day. I feel that if I call them out on it they are going to come even later to school or not show up at all. What would you suggest I do? Thank you.
Sincerely,
Confused Teacher
Dear confused teacher: It sounds like these students don't understand that actions have consequences. Since these students don't get much support at home, you will need to be that supportive adult that takes notice. Sometimes as adults we have to do the hard things, like confronting the students about their truancy. Taking them aside as a group (not in front of the class!) and asking them why they have been late, and holding them accountable in some way will be a valuable experience for them in the future. Then maybe some rewards for good behavior in the future wouldn't hurt much. ~Abby
DeleteDear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI am 11 years old and just started middle school at a new school. Even though I am the new girl, I know two girls at this school from dance class. These girls are both super nice and they're so cool. The problem is that the two girls hang out in two different groups of friends who don't get along. Both of the girls want me to sit at their lunch table with them. But each of the girls told me they wouldn't be my friend if I sat with the other group at lunch or recess. I don't know what to do - I like them both but can't be a part of both groups. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or be left out of BOTH groups.
- The New Girl
Dear New Girl,
DeleteIt seems like you're in a tough situation, but from personal experience, real friends shouldn't force you to choose favorites. It would be like asking a parent to pick their favorite child! If you haven't already, try talking to them and telling them how you feel. Invite both girls over for pizza after dance class one day and tell them that you want to be able to hang out with both of them. I'm sure your friends will come to an understanding! Pizza always seems to be the answer to every problem.
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteEver since I started seventh grade, I've been feeling really overwhelmed. Last year, I played soccer, went to dance class three times a week, and even had time to play the flute in my school band. Now, I have so much more homework and have no time to do anything with my friends. I don't want to quit any of my activities, but I want to be a normal teenager too. What should I do?
-Stressed Out
Dear Stressed Out,
DeleteWhen I was your age, I too wanted to do everything. Chorus, cross-country, soccer, track, and all while seeing my friends of course. There is nothing wrong with the fact you want to do everything but the simple fact is there is only so much time in the world and all of us have to use it for what we deem most important to us. So I say figure out which activities you both love and need the most and cut the rest or at least give much less time to them. Also, a bit old to be a teenager in the seventh grade are you not?
Sincerely,
Abby
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI'm in 8th grade and one of the girls in my English class has been acting really different lately. I have tried to talk to her and find out what's going on, I've asked her to sit with me and my friends at lunch, and I've even invited her to hang out after school.
We've hung out a few times in the last couple of weeks and I thought it was fun. She doesn't talk about anything bad and things seem to be going okay until she comes in to class the next day sad again. NOTHING seems to be making her happy for more than a few hours.
Yesterday I think I saw red scrapes on her arms, but I don't know for sure and I don't want her to get even more upset if I tell our teacher. What should I do?
Sincerely,
The Concerned Student
Dear Concerned Student,
DeleteYou should absolutely be concerned for your classmate and you are a very wise person to see what has been going on. I know it seems as though she will be angry at first if you tell the teacher, and she might be, but her health and happiness is more important. Your teacher will be able to help you find ways to make her feel better, and can also check in with her parents to make sure they know. I know it can be scary to talk to the teacher about things like this, but your classmate needs help and that is what your teacher is there for.
Sincerely,
Abby
Dear Abby,
ReplyDeleteI'm a 6th grade teacher and one of my students has begun to refuse doing work. He was a good student and this change seems rather abrupt. At first I tried talking to him but was met with a standoffish response. He clearly seems bothered but not comfortable enough to explain why. It got so bad this past week that even getting him to open his book was a struggle. I am going to have to resort to disciplinary action but am not sure if that will do any good as a similar stunt happened the previous year with a student only the harder I came down on them the more recluse they got. Sometimes it feels like my ability to help these students is hindered by outside forces. The only time he seems happy and motivated to work is if I allow for collaborative work and he gets to mingle with his friends, but I cannot have every lesson designed around one student.
-Sincerely, One Frustrated Educator
Dear One Frustrated Educator,
DeleteI agree that something seems to be bothering your student. I think getting outside help from your school councilor will be the best option for you right now. You mentioned that your student doesn't seem comfortable speaking to you about what is going on. Something may be going on at home that is causing him to lash out, but speaking to a teacher he sees everyday doesn't seem right to him. Try contacting a counselor to see if they could speak to you and give you feedback on his behavior.
In the mean time... When in class, though not every lesson can be a group activity, I would try increasing the group work. ALL students can benefit from group work and learning to work with their peers. To ensure that your student is doing his work, you could assign rolls so each student is held responsible for their work. After you can check the work to make sure he understands the material.
Maybe for independent activities assign him a "work buddy" that can try to keep him on track.
Hang in there,
Abby